Site Stats
Yes, this is a stats page. No, there is no analytics stack behind it — the site runs zero trackers, which for this household is a moral position and for everyone else is a privacy gift you didn’t ask for. The numbers below come in two tiers of honesty:
- Measured: computed by Hugo at build time, from the actual repo. These are as real as anything gets on this website.
- Felt: hand-maintained. Precision: emotional. Margin of error: yes.
The measured part (real numbers, computed at build)
The block below is generated by the site template at every build. If a number here is wrong, a template did it, and templates don’t lie — they just faithfully report whatever nonsense we feed them.
The felt part (hand-maintained, accuracy guaranteed by the guy counting)
| Counter | Value | Confidence |
|---|---|---|
| GPUs melted by the shader background | 3 (two were mine, one was a guest) | high — receipts exist |
| Packets rebroadcast by the toaster | ~120,000 | the switch logs, traumatized |
| Times the UPS beeped meaningfully | lost count after the first power bill | procedural |
| Blog posts written “in fits of late-night inspiration” | all of them | 100% |
| Kernels compiled from source | 37 minutes once | see: open source meltdown |
| SQL injections attempted against this site | unknown (Caddy filed one report, the rest went to the void via port scan vibes) | unknowable |
| Stove checks before leaving | averaging 2.1 per departure | trending down |
| Commit messages skippable without shame | 0 | verified none |
The variance between these two sections is the point. The template-computed part is the site as it actually is. The hand-maintained part is the site as it feels, which is the more useful metric for a personal website.
Moral of the story: Track fewer things, feel more of them. Or keep a dashboard tracking your other dashboards and join me in the co-dependency I documented in April.
$ hugo stats --real-numbers-only posts : 23 (all live, none drafted, several regretted) total words : 10140 (about 40 printed pages, which nobody will print) average post : 440 words (blame the october ones, they ramble on patch tuesdays) longest post : I Switched Distro Distros Twice This Summer and Landed Somewhere Better Than My Arch Setup (1038 words) newest : Patch Tuesday Broke the Counter and Then Broke Windows 11 24H2 oldest : Hello (the archive floor) static files : 87 pages counting this one, which is counting itself built : Oct 21, 2026 07:54 UTC on hugo 0.164.0 trackers : 0 (moral stance) · uptime as reported by /healthz: "ok" (the bar never moves) $ _
$ posts per year --chart=ascii --precision=1-post-per-char
2026 | ######### 9
2025 | ### 3
2024 | ######## 8
2023 | ## 2
2022 | # 1